The Pandemic Blues

As I am certain many others have struggled with the pain of the isolation from the pandemic, I am no different. I am single, never married, with children. My friends are few and far between and I find them even farther away now. Isolated before, without my job I am a borderline hermit.

People that I work with have no conception of how much their conversations mean to me, or the meaning of their casual compliments.  A simple “you look nice today” is like receiving a Christmas gift. There is literally no human interaction in my life except for work and the grocery store.

Getting out bed every day is beginning to become a serious struggle. Weight gain and heartache were is daily battle to contend with in the mirror. Then I feel guilty for feeling the way I do as I know so many others have struggles worse than mine.

Kali-Ma regularly puts her paws in my face every morning as if to say “you are not only an essential worker, you are essential to me so get up, clean the litter box and feed me!”.  She also reminds me to take her for walks and it was on one of her walks that a miracle happened. 

The Band In The Park

If you read the story of us: https://www.tailsofkalima.com/about/ you will know that Kali-Ma comes from Texas. For whatever reason Kali-Ma loves Willie Nelson. The minute I play it she comes running and if I play Willie in the car we always have a smooth ride.

Anyone who knows me knows I am not a big country music fan, or I never used to be. The fact that I now know the words to most of every Willie Nelson song and can hum along shows how much I love my cat.

So, one Saturday while Kali-Ma and I were in the park for a walk we heard music and we came along a band of senior citizens. Due to COVID, they were unable to play at their Senior Center so now they play at the park on Saturdays. As I lifted Kali-Ma out of her stroller to hold her they played none other than a Willie Nelson song.

Being that it’s her favorite, I began to sway and we danced.  It was like we were in our own little world together. Completely peaceful, soothing, and calm.  Some people took pictures. Others approached us after the song, but in those moments while we danced I was in total tranquility for the first time in months. See video of us dancing here in the park: https://youtu.be/-6ZDAOcx1yk

Dancing With My Cat

We came home and I didn’t give it much thought. Then Monday came and with another difficult day at work only to come home to isolation and depression. It was raining so I couldn’t take Kali-Ma outside.  I thought why not try dancing with her? I put on some Willie and placed her in my arms. We swayed and twirled and once again we were back in the bubble of complete peace and tranquility. Kali-Ma head bumped me as she always does when she is confirming everything is alright. It was her way of telling me “you got it now”?

See video of us dancing at home: https://youtu.be/EPUImLmvKmE

Final Thoughts

I’ve never experienced the loneliness and deep depression that I have from this pandemic. To be void of human hugs, human touch and interaction is debilitating at times and crippling at others.

Kali-Ma turned 11 years old today. It was her birthday and we spent in the park with the band playing Wille Nelson just for her! She is loved by people everywhere we go. A heaven-sent angel, my blessing, and as always the best part of me. I thank God for her every day.

My personal opinion is that you can’t downplay any depression or emotions you have. What I have personally learned is that everyone is entitled to feel their feelings through this most difficult of times.

When it gets the worst for me I will be dancing with my cat to a Willie Nelson song, and yes I will probably be singing along knowing all of the words.

Until next time…Happy Tails to you!